Eleanor had her first day of daycare on Tuesday from 7:30 to 5. She did some life-sustaining combination of eating and sleeping and came home happy and surprisingly well-rested. I spent the day studying, lunching with Dan, cleaning and trying not to wake her up – I kept assuming she wasn’t with me since she was sleeping. I was unloading the dishwasher and dropped a dish and thought “Gak, I’ll wake the baby,” completely forgetting she’s a mile away. Since I kept thinking she was sleeping, I didn’t spend too much time missing her or dwelling on the Great Abandoning. However, when we picked her up at 5, it hit me how much I had missed her and wanted nothing more than to hold her very tight. She was very excited to see me, too, and reached out for me which was pretty heartbreaking.
Today was much more difficult. I (foolishly) hung around a bit after arriving and so was there to see and hear her scream when I put on my coat and left. It was awful and it (at least for the past hour) has made it impossible to think she’s simply napping upstairs.
But the abandonment must continue. I have my first full day of classes in Mankato next Thursday and already a pretty long lists of readings and assignments to start thinking about. So far, I’m really pleased with the program. The syllabi seem well put together and the readings are pretty stimulating. I love being back and school and studying stuff that I genuinely care about. There’s something very satisfying about learning how to do something you already do (nursing), better (advanced practice nursing).
Late Entry Note: When I picked Ellie up, she was barely smiling and looked like she had been left in a snowbank – pale, racoon-eyed and slouchy. She puked in the car on the way to pick up Dan and refused to eat dinner. She has a rectal temp of 102.6. It wasn’t daycare, though: it was me, typhoid Mommy (I have a cold, too). She’s sleeping soundly now and breastfed before falling asleep so I hope she’s not too badly off. Not a particularly auspicious start to our first week of daycare, however.
I was just thinking yesterday about how everyone told me that leaving V was going to be so much harder in the beginning…and that they were right. It gets easier, hang in there!
This sounds so hard! Good luck and hang in there.
Congratulations to both of you for surviving the first two days of separation. You were always keen to go to “school” even when you were one year old! Look at it this way : Both you and Ellie are at school. She’s learning to get along with others and you’re learning how to look after others. A perfect team!