I was very happy to be able to accompany Em to all of her midwifery appointments in Chicago when she was pregnant. On our first visit (sometime in the middle of the morning on a weekday), the midwife remarked that it was good that I was able to get time off from work to come. I replied, “Oh, I don’t work” and left it at that. Strictly speaking it was true. I didn’t have a job, I was a grad student. I realize that it implied something else entirely and that’s what made it so funny… to me. Not to Emily. She was not happy with the idea that I was presenting myself to the rest of the world as a priviledged lay-about. So, of course, I made a point of telling people, “Oh, I don’t work” whenever I could (and the “Oh”, for some reason, is crucial to the comedy — as though it hadn’t ever occured to me that I might work or that people would naturally assume that I worked. “What. Me work? Don’t be ridiculous!”)
Now, however, I can’t do that. These days, when people around here ask me what I do, I say that I “teach at Carleton”. It occured to me the other day, however, that I have an even more pretentious and offensive response than “Oh, I don’t work” at my fingertips: “I’m a philosopher.” The italics indicate relish in the utterance.
Emily has threatened to divorce me if I follow through. She just doesn’t understand us philosophers.
At Jason’s 10 year high school reunion, he told people, with a straight face, that he was a master puppeteer. I can’t decide if “oh, I don’t work” would have been better.
Totally with Emily on this one…
@Alice: Well, if I’m right then you don’t understand yourself.
@Kim. Of course he did.
I am totally in giggles at the thought of you doing this. Maybe just once, when Emily isn’t around…
Oh, you don’t have to convince me. I’m a _composer_.
This is good, but I think you have to raise your game, at least in Northfield. Few people around here would be surprised to hear you call yourself a philosopher. You could turn the dial to 11 and say you’re an ethicist or, even better, a normative/biomedical ethicist. Eyes would glaze!
@Tassava: what about “purveyor of wisdom”?
I once told someone that I was a philosopher, during my misguided undergraduate days, to which he replied “Uh-huh. So then you must be really good with people.”
@Alex: nice. You totally are.
You really do have to be unemployed to make it to ALL those appointments, though.
I don’t think “purveyor of wisdom” works, but maybe “wiseguy” would apply.
MATT // Sep 11, 2010 at 4:23 AM
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