We were woken up on Tuesday morning by sirens and what appeared to be the entire fleet of Northfield fire, police and safety services parked outside our house. The dog and I later witnessed a burnt-out minivan being hauled away from the parking lot of City Hall.
What happened? Well, according to local resident-cum-arsonist Mark Allen Cole, when life becomes “overwhelming,” you gather “a jug of gasoline, some paint thinner and pieces of bed sheets” and set your house on fire. Then, for added kicks, you drive to City Hall and light your car on fire to make a vague political point. When you flee the scene however, Northfield’s finest gets you. Luckily, no one was injured as a result of Mark Allen Cole’s life becoming overwhelming.
We were pretty excited. And so was Northield: here is a news clip featuring the event. They interview two local attorneys who took off time from work just to drive to the burned house to check it out. The blond, curly-haired one is our Kim. You can also note that the pan shot to City Hall starts with our house. Fame!
The arson drama was really just an introduction, however, to the main event: my discovery of Northfield News. Northfield News is our local paper which comes out 2 times a week. It’s sold in newsboxes around the neighborhood and usually features headlines about local high school sport triumphs and city council decisions. Clearly, however, it was the place to go for up-to-date information on the fire-setting. Since I have 3 papers due next week, it was also a fertile field for my procrastination.
And so I am very honored to present to you THE MOST BORING NEWS STORY EVER WRITTEN: “One of the world’s oldest barbers died here in ’40.” Yes, folks, one of the world’s oldest barbers died here in Northfield in 1940. As our friend T. pointed out, there must have been quite the backlog of articles to hold back this winner until 2010.
I am also pleased to present THE MOST BORING DRUG BUST EVER: “School search comes up empty” with the lede “Drug-sniffing dogs searching Northfield High School today found nothing illegal.”
There so, so much more. I’ll try to continue to share the very best of Northfield News with you all.
Also, for those of you who haven’t yet seen the proof, Eleanor is crawling:
She crawls! from Daniel Groll on Vimeo.
How cool would it be if you made the local paper’s police blotter. Bragging rights, yo.
Scoop // Apr 24, 2010 at 9:47 AM
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